Dead Again?
by SashaSmoke
Summary: Just when she thought she found the perfect 'apple pie life' with her perfect husband... she dies. Again.


Alright, I took a break from my main series to write this little tid-bit. Enjoy! And don't forget to review!

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><p>The man's hand shook violently, the barrel's erratic movement matching my heart rate. "I said, give my your w-wallets!" His quaking voice sounded rough to my ears, like he was trying hard to sound threatening. His soft face and eyes told the true story: a starving man driven to the brink of desperation. I could have easily taken the gun, but I didn't want to risk getting my brand new white dress filthy. Plus I'd had a few too many tequilas. Damn it! How many times did I need to get drunk to realize that alcohol and Buffy were non-mixy things! Dean could take this one.<p>

"Hey, it's okay. We don't want any trouble. Just take it easy." Dean's soft voice revealed how nervous he was. I shot him a quick look. His focus was on the man, calculating the best way to disarm him without anyone getting hurt. "I'm just gonna slide my wallet over to you, okay?" he whispered, slowly crouching down.

"Dean," I slurred. The gun, shaking slightly, was still pointed directly over my heart. Sweat beaded on the man's forehead. I felt a trickle of my own slide down my neck.

"Easy does it, buddy," Dean said sharply. "She isn't going to do anything! Leave her out of this."

The man flinched. His finger clicked the trigger.

It happened in slow motion. The gun jerked towards the sound of Dean's voice, the flash of the bullet shooting out of the barrel. And I was moving, moving faster than I ever had, my hands outstretched to shove Dean from the bullet's path.

Scarlet flashed across my vision, tinting everything red. Numbness spread from my chest, locking me in its icy grip. Dean's face swam in front of my vision, blurry from tears. Fractured images of the sky… the pavement… his face…. spots danced in front of my slowly closing eyelids, oozing darkness over Dean. I fought it desperately, wanting to see him, to stay with him.

Light shown through the growing blackness, a warm, welcoming feeling that drove the numbness away. I was swallowed by it.

"What the hell?" I grumbled. My eyes flashed open. Dean. The robber. The gun.

"Dean?" I asked in a more desperate tone. "Hello? Please, can anybody hear me?" I rose, finally taking in my surroundings. Nothingness. That's the only way I could describe it. I was in the middle of a white plain that stretched on into eternity no either side. "Alright, Whistler, what is it this time? Another Apocalypse? I told you I was DONE. Send me back to Dean, or I'll rip out your ribcage and turn it into a hat!" I yelled angrily.

"I wish you wouldn't blaspheme." A monotone voice sounded behind me. I whirled around to see the owner. How come my Slayer senses hadn't picked him up?

A middle aged man with wind-swept brown curls and electric blue eyes stood in front of me. He was dressed formally in a navy suit with a tan trench coat over it, his hands limp at his sides. "And you are?" I demanded, hands on hips. I had no time for this dude. I had to find Dean.

"I am Castiel. I am here to guide you to heaven." I snorted, waiting for the 'just kidding!'. But it never came.

"Wait, really? If you're taking me to heaven.. that must mean that I'm…" I trailed off, looking intently at his face. It was grave. "No, no I can't be dead! Not again! The Powers, they-they promised I'd live a normal life - a long one. That was our deal!" I started hyperventilating, my lungs desperate for air. Castiel watched my breathing return without moving to help. After a time, I asked "I'm not in heaven right now?" I looked around. It didn't look like the heaven I remembered - the one that haunted me for so many years after my second resurrection.

"No. You are in what you humans would call a 'waiting room'. Now, are you ready?" He gestured forwards. "You will soon see the bridge that leads to my father's kingdom." Squinting, my eyes began to pick out details I hadn't noticed before. A long, rope bridge spanned the massive chasm I'd somehow missed.

"This can't be happening." I breathed. After taking a few tentatives steps, my excitement began to build. I was going to heaven. The place that I'd longed for for so long. I was gonna see my mom again, and I was going to be there with-

"No, wait just a second. Dean. Where's Dean?" I demanded, feet firmly planted just before the bridge. "I'm not going anywhere without him. Is he- is he still alive?" Castiel sighed and glued his eyes to his black dress shoes.

"Your husband died shortly after you." I exhaled, not sure if I should be relieved that he was dead. "But he is not here." Frowning, I waited for him to elaborate. "When a person dies, they are sent here, to the 'waiting room'. Each person gets their own guide, their own bridge, and their own heaven. You will go into my father's kingdom alone." My eyes narrowed, hands on hips. That wasn't how it was the first time I died.

"No." I insisted. "I'm not going anywhere without him. I didn't even get to say goodbye and that's it? No. I refuse to go without him." I crossed my arms, a scowl written on my face.

Castiel seemed torn. After a moment, he sighed again. "There are a few rare cases who, like yourself, refused to go without their loved one, if they had died as well. My father agreed to give them one hour to find them, and if they did, they could share a heaven forever."

"And… if you don't find them?" I asked nervously. Castiel looked grim.

"You will go into heaven alone." Hearing my snort of disbelief, he clarified. "You will have no control of this. You will go to heaven." My mouth fell open in shock. "You think you'd want to go, after the ordeal you went through after falling."

I glared at him, but sighed in defeat "Okay, where should I start?"

"Here, take my hand" he said, reaching out to me. His hand was surprisingly warm and smooth, the skin unblemished. "I will take you to the place where the more…" he glanced at me wryly "stubborn souls go to find their loved ones." He squeezed my hand, his eyes briefly filling with compassion before returning to blankness, whispering, "Good luck. I hope you find him." Then everything went black.

"Ow" I groaned as I hauled my butt of the ground. "You could've warned me about the landing, Cas." I grumbled, rubbing my aching back. My surroundings soon caught my attention.

I was in a field of some sorts. Other people we walking around aimlessly, others running desperately, calling out names. It was unbearably sad.

Stumbling over rocks and branches (apparently my Slayer grace was moot here) I bumped into the first person I'd met since I'd died.

"Hi, you haven't seen a man called Dean, have you? About 5 foot 5 inches, sandy blonde hair that's spiked up with a little stubble and the most amazing green eyes?" I asked hopefully. The child shook her head sadly. My heart twisted; this girl was too young to be dead.

"Have you seen my mommy?" She whispered. She sounded so afraid. I knelt down so we were at eye level. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide with fear.

"No, but I'm sure she'll find you. A mother always knows where her baby is." I murmured comfortingly, adjusting the bow on her pink dress. The girl smiled bravely and wandered away to ask another spirit. I wanted to help her, but my time was running out.

Seeing a young woman wandering around aimlessly, I headed towards her for help. "Please, have you seen a young man, about my age, with brown hair and bright green eyes?" I pleaded, hoping desperately that she had. She shook her head gravely.

"I am looking for someone too, a girl. She has long blonde hair and is wearing a pink dress. Please, I need to find her." I couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, I've seen your daughter. She's right over there." I said, pointing to where the child was walking. The look on the mother's face could've lit up a room.

"Jo!" She called out, sprinting to her daughter. The girl turned and ran to her mother, jumping into her outstretched arms. I smiled happily, glad that I could help. A twinge of jealousy wormed its way into my chest. What if I never found him?

"Dean!" I called out, gingerly treading around the treacherous terrain. "Dean!" My voice broke with fear; where was he? What if- what if he'd decided to move on without me? I shook my head in denial. He wouldn't leave me. We promised each other.

I twirled in place, my eyes scanning the horizon for him.

I spied a lone figure kneeling in the mud. Their shoulders were shaking slightly. I stumbled towards them, my legs exhausted from the constant searching.

"Please, can you help me find someone?" I whispered, barely audible over the breeze. I was still too far away to be heard, but they stopped shaking.

Slowly, the figure turned towards me. Sandy blonde hair that spiked up - but only after he spent about 15 minutes working on it, a 5 o'clock shadow that most would find unattractive but I found adorable, and the most amazing forest green eyes I'd ever seen.

"Dean." I breathed. I was sprinting towards him, ignoring the pain that shot up my legs with each step. Standing too, he ran and we collided in an embrace so intense I'm sure it shook the Earth. "I'm so glad I found you. I thought I never would." I gasped, tears rolling down my cheeks and into his shirt as I buried my face in the nook of his shoulder: my spot.

"I'll always find you." He whispered back. It was a promise made long ago when we had to go our separate ways for hunts. "I love you so damn much, you know that?" He said with a weak chuckle.

"I know." I breathed, entwining our fingers. After a time of blissful stillness, I called out "I found him, Cas!" I raised my voice so my all-knowing 'guide' could hear.

He appeared next to me, still in his bible salesmen garb, with a minuscule smile on his face. "Congratulations,Buffy Winchester. Most never find their loved ones, but I knew you were different." I smirked.

"Probably because I was too stubborn to go without Dean." I saw my husband's confused face and clarified. "This is my 'guide' Castiel. He told me I could go to heaven, but I said I wouldn't without you. I insisted we find you, but I had to go alone."

"Thank goodness you did, your time is just about up." Castiel said in his bland monotone. I thanked god that I had; I couldn't imagine heaven without Dean in it - and I knew what heaven was like.

"Take my hands, both of you. It's time." We formed a little circle since I refused to let go of Dean's hand. I squared my shoulders and prepared myself for the next step in our journey.

I'd faced demons, hell gods, robot men, Apocalypses, and the drama that is my little sister and now I was headed for the last leg of my journey. But I wasn't afraid. I knew that no matter what happened next, I'd be okay. As long as I had Dean by my side.

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><p>So that's it. Tell me what you think!<p> 


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